bEAu viSAge
Friday, November 13, 2009
it's not my fault
whose fault is it then?..i darely say it's not mine..
my bestfriend's parents don't like the idea of her having a boyfriend from another religion..unfortunatley she got herself into a relationship witha 'non-christian'..
here's the thing..am i to blame because she had a non-christian boyfriend?
i'd say, of course not!..coz in the first place i didn't told her to have a relationship with that guy..it was her decision..and now her parents are somehow blaming me because i influenced her..
are they out of their minds?..
here are the consequences of what happend..
she's not enrolled to our class because her RIGHTEOUS parents don't like their daughter to be influeced by us..coz they said were unclean..and we might got their daughter stained by our unrighteousness..particularly mine..
her mother wants her to transfer to another thesis group..unfortunately we're groupmates..again, because they don't want their holiness to be stained by my unholiness..
hello?..are they blaming me because they can't accept the fact that they were not able to brought up their daughter the way the want her to be?..or because their daughter didn't listen to them and didn't do what they want her to do?
and here's the saddest part..my bestfriend is just letting her parents think im to blame..maybe because she doesn't wanna take all the blame..i don't even feel that she's somehow trying to clear my name..somehow trying to defend me..
they all can go to hell!..for all i care!..
they're causing me too much pain and i don't deserve this..i should never have made friends with their daughter..
my bestfriend's parents don't like the idea of her having a boyfriend from another religion..unfortunatley she got herself into a relationship witha 'non-christian'..
here's the thing..am i to blame because she had a non-christian boyfriend?
i'd say, of course not!..coz in the first place i didn't told her to have a relationship with that guy..it was her decision..and now her parents are somehow blaming me because i influenced her..
are they out of their minds?..
here are the consequences of what happend..
she's not enrolled to our class because her RIGHTEOUS parents don't like their daughter to be influeced by us..coz they said were unclean..and we might got their daughter stained by our unrighteousness..particularly mine..
her mother wants her to transfer to another thesis group..unfortunately we're groupmates..again, because they don't want their holiness to be stained by my unholiness..
hello?..are they blaming me because they can't accept the fact that they were not able to brought up their daughter the way the want her to be?..or because their daughter didn't listen to them and didn't do what they want her to do?
and here's the saddest part..my bestfriend is just letting her parents think im to blame..maybe because she doesn't wanna take all the blame..i don't even feel that she's somehow trying to clear my name..somehow trying to defend me..
they all can go to hell!..for all i care!..
they're causing me too much pain and i don't deserve this..i should never have made friends with their daughter..
drifting away from what i used to be
i admit it..im not what i used to be..these changes were brought about by situations and consequences of my decisions..im doing things which im not suppose to do..but no matter how i tell and convince myself that i shouldn't be doing 'this and that', i still find myself doing 'this and that'..
more and more each day i commit same mistakes..and more and more each day my guilt is eating me..when will i ever wake up?..of course, it should be now..now..now..and now im hating myself again..i need to figth back the urge of doing same mistakes again and again..coz a time might come that im no longer me and i'll be a complete stranger to myself..i don't want to wake up one day asking myself 'where's the real me?'..i don't wanna hate myself more..i need to help myself..
more and more each day i commit same mistakes..and more and more each day my guilt is eating me..when will i ever wake up?..of course, it should be now..now..now..and now im hating myself again..i need to figth back the urge of doing same mistakes again and again..coz a time might come that im no longer me and i'll be a complete stranger to myself..i don't want to wake up one day asking myself 'where's the real me?'..i don't wanna hate myself more..i need to help myself..
